A Cup of Tea

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"

COMMENT: This koan is pretty self-explanatory. I have found that I go into many situations thinking I already know everything about it, so it makes me unteachable. 

Non-Attachment

If Buddhism must be described in one word, that word is non-attachment. The eighty-four thousand teachings of the Buddha could be reduced to non-attachment. Non-attachment and detachment are quite different. Detachment is to cut off one’s self from the problem, to get away from it, to escape. But life can not be escaped. Non-attachment is to be one with the problem. Living life is like flowing water. But instead of letting life flow, we attach to favorable conditions and become greedy, or we attach to adverse situations and become angry. We form attachments to words, actions, situations, things, and people. The strongest attachment of all is the attachment to one’s self. 

The next five koans will be about non-attachment.

The Girl Comes Out of Meditation

Once upon a time, Manjusri, the Bodhisattva of Wisdom, went to an assemblage of Buddhas. By the time he arrived, all had departed except for Buddha Sakyamuni and one girl. She was seated in a place of highest honor, deep in meditation. Manjusri asked the Buddha how it was possible for the girl to attain a depth of meditation that even he could not attain. The Buddha said. “Bring her out of meditation and ask her yourself. So Manjusri walked around the girl three times (a gesture of reverence], then snapped his fingers. She remained deep in meditation. He then tried rousing her by invoking all his magic powers; he even transported her to a high heaven. All was to no avail, so deep was her concentration. But suddenly, up from below the earth sprang Momyo, an unenlightened one. He snapped his fingers once and the girl came out of her meditation.

COMMENT: The principles of this koan are symbolic. Manjusri personifies wisdom; Momyo its opposite. How is it that a mere girl could attain a state that Manjusri couldn't? Why was the wise Manjusri unable even to rouse her to learn the answer to that question? The purpose of meditation is to overcome duality, to become selfless-ness. Selfless-ness can be likened to a bottle filled to capacity; when the cork is put in, no matter how you shake it, toss it, drop it, there is no noise. But if the bottle is only half full, it makes the sound of water. Of course, if the bottle is empty, there is no sound, but there is no water, either. Merely “sitting quietly” in meditation is like a bottle without any water. True meditation is like the bottle filled to the top. The girl in the koan was selfless-ness. Even Manjusri couldn't rouse her. Then how could Momyo, an ignoramus, rouse the girl? Even the wise man, if he becomes attached to wisdom, becomes the victim of wisdom. Even good deeds, if we become attached to them, become bad. Non-attachment is the Way.

Jizo's Buddhism

One day, Jizo received one of Hofuku's disciples and asked him, “How does your teacher instruct vou? “My teacher instructs me to shut my eyes and see no evil thing; to cover my ears and hear no evil sound: to stop my mind activities and form no wrong ideas.” the monk replied. “I do not ask you to shut your eyes. Jizo said. “but you do not see a thing. Edo not ask you to cover your ears, but you do not hear a sound. I do not ask you to cease your mind-activities, but you do not form any idea at all”

COMMENT: The purpose of teaching in Buddhism is to enable and assist the student to find the real meaning of life—so life will be peaceful, serene, joyful, and abundantly creative. A true teacher always individualizes his lessons according to the student who receives them. The pupil in the koan was a novice, still firmly attached to what he saw, heard, and thought. So his first teacher gave him basic lesson: avoid attaching importance to sight, sound, and thought. Jizo's teaching went even deeper: one must open the Third Eye. Reality has no color, no form. See things as they are and you will not attach. Life lives and moves on.

A Philosopher Asks Buddha

A philosopher asked Buddha: “Without words, without silence, will vou tell me the truth?” The Buddha sat quietly. The philosopher then bowed and thanked the Buddha saying, with your loving kindness I have cleared away my delusions and entered the true path. After the philosopher had gone, Ananda asked Buddha what the philosopher had attained. The Buddha commented, “A good horse runs even at the shadow of the whip.”

COMMENT: Buddha’s silence was dynamic. The philosopher was.quick to understand and thanked him. But Ananda did not understand. Truth is beyond words. Life is only understood by life.

Where to Meet After Death

Dogo paid a visit to his sick fellow monk, Ungan. “Where can I see you again if you die and leave only your corpse?" Dogo asked. “I will meet you where nothing is born and nothing dies.” Ungan replies. Dogo criticized his response, saving, “What you should have said is that there is no place where nothing is born and nothing dies and that we need not see each other at all.

COMMENT: Some people eat together, sleep together, but never really meet. Did Dogo and Ungan really meet? There are many living corpses moving around. The true meeting in life is the meeting of life. Unless one has true understanding, one hears without really hearing, sees without really seeing. If Dogo and Ungan were really enlightened, such sophisticated mondos (questions-and-answers) would be unnecessary. Just clasping each other's hand would be more than enough. Genro wrote a poem on this koan: The old plum tree is in full bloom; The southern branch owns the whole spring—So does the northern branch.

No Beard - A Zen Koan

Wakuan complained when he saw a picture of bearded Bodhidharma, “Why hasn't that fellow a beard?” 

COMMENT: Bodhidharma, the Hindu who brought Zen to China from India in the sixth century, is always depicted with a heavy beard. When we say “Bodhidharma” we immediately conceptualize him. If we say “Buddha,” we conceptualize the Buddha. If we say “Christ,” we conceptualize Christ. We make ourselves victims of concepts. By refuting appearance, Wakuan invites us to go beyond the duality of beard and no-beard and see the real Bodhidharma.

Bodhidharma and the Emperor Wu

Emperor Wu of China was a very benevolent Buddhist. He built many temples and monasteries, educated many monks, and performed countless philanthropic deeds in the name of Buddhism. He asked the great teacher Bodhidharma, “What merit is there in my good works? Bodhidharma replied, “None whatsoever.” The Emperor then asked, “What is the Primal meaning of Holy Reality?” Bodhidharma answered, “Emptiness, not holiness.” The Emperor then queried, “Who, then, is this confronting me?” “I do not know,” was Bodhidharma’ reply. Since the Emperor did not understand, Bodhidharma left his kingdom. Later, the Emperor related this conversation to an adviser, Prince Shiko. Shiko reprimanded him, saving that Bodhidharma was a great teacher possessed of the highest truth. The Emperor, filled with regret, dispatched a messenger to entreat Bodhidharma to return. But Shiko warned, “Even if all the people the land went, that one will never return.”

When Bodhidharma, an Indian, went to China about the year 520, Buddhism was

well established. Emperor Wu invited Bodhidharma to his court. Bodhidharma’s answer to his questions came as something of a shock. But the Emperor's attitude was dualistic and totally off the track. The Buddhist way of life is to enlighten one’s self and find one’s own true life. The Emperor's questions (what do I get since I did so much? what is reality? what are you?) were all about something not himself. So Bodhidharma left the Emperor and went to a mountain temple where he meditated, without speaking, for nine years. He became the father of Zen.

The Real Way is not Difficult

Joshu addressed an assembly of monks: “The Real Way" is not difficult, but it dislikes the Relative. If there is but little speech, it is about the Relative or it is about the Absolute. This old monk is not within the Absolute. Do you value that or not?” A monk said to him, if you are not within the Absolute how can you judge its value?” Joshu said, “Neither do I know that.” The monk argued, “Your Reverence, if you do not yet know, how is it that you say you are not within the Absolute?” Kosar said, “Your questioning is effective. Finish your worship and leave.”

COMMENT: Everyone has Buddha-nature —pure, original, and true. Everyone has intrinsic value and beauty. Rose, lily, tree, or stone, each should be as it is. If you are short, be short. If you are tall, be tall. Nothing is wrong. “The Real Way" is not difficult, but it dislikes the Relative.” If one compares, relatively, then good and bad, beautiful and ugly, tall and short, right and wrong arise, creating difficulty. Even a little talk about relative or absolute and, like the monk, one is not within the Absolute. The Real Way is not difficult because it is the only Way. It is the Absolute Way. Pretensions are difficult because one has to make them up. The True Way is not difficult because it is. 

Bells and Robes

Zen Master Unmon said: “The world is vast and wide, Why do you put on your robes at the sound of a bell?”

COMMENT: In a Zen temple the lives of the monks are well regulated. When the bell sounds, each puts on his robe and goes to the meditation hall. But Unmon asks: Why? There is an old saying that whatever comes in through the gates is foreign. The gates are the senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. If we decide, move, and act by the senses, we obey foreign commands. In response to our environment we feel pressures, are easily upset, become nervous. This is one of the characteristics of modern life. But if one settles down firmly in one’s inner life, all actions, feelings, and deeds come from deep within. The unenlightened one does things because he must do them; the enlightened one acts because he wants to. Freedom lies in the center of life. Unmon points to the center. Bells and Robes Zen Master Unmon said: “The world is vast and wide, Why do you put on your robes at the sound of a bell?

Seijo's Two Souls

Chokan had a very beautiful daughter named Seijo. He also had a handsome young cousin named Ochu. Joking. he would often comment that they would make a fine married couple. Actually, he  planned to give his daughter's hand in marriage to another man. But young Seijo and Ochu took him seriously: they fell in love and thought themselves engaged. One dav Chokan announced Seijo's betrothal to the other man. In rage and despair, Ochu left by boat.  After several days journey, much to his astonishment and joy he discovered that Seijo was on the boat with him! They went to a nearby city where they lived for several years and had two children. But Seijo could not forget her father: so Ochu decided to go back with her and ask the father's forgiveness and blessing. When they arrived, Ochu went to the father’s house. He humbly apologized to the father for taking his daughter away and asked forgiveness for them both. “What is the meaning of all this madness?” the father exclaimed. Then he related that after Ochu had left, many years ago. his daughter Seijo had fallen ill and had been comatose in bed since. Ochu assured him that he was mistaken, and, in proof, he brought Sejjo from the boat. When she entered, the Seijo lying in the bed rose to meet her and the two became one. Zen Master Goso,  observed that Seijo had two souls. One always sick at home in bed and the other in the city, a married woman with two children. Which was the true soul?”

COMMENT: When one attains enlightenment, one transcends duality and is able to understand the truth of all things. The truth cannot be divided or dichotomized. Illusion and reality are only relative. There is no so-called reality without illusion. The new exists only in relation to the old. As for east and west, there are no such things. “To be” or “not to be” is not much of a problem. Life and death are different phases of one thing. Enjoy spring; enjoy summer. Enjoy, also, fall and winter! Truth is one; truth is many.

MY COMMENT: I have noticed in my life that everything is really the same, not in a bad or boring way. Good and bad are opposite ends of one state. Happy and sad are both simply emotions. Everything is everything. 

Koans

 

Koans are stories, or questions, given to students and monks by their Masters to discipline them and to test their understanding of Zen. Zenists also use the koans to challenge each other and to test each other’s—as well as their own— ability. In ancient days it was the custom for monks to visit different Zen Buddhist monasteries and temples with the purpose of challenging the residing Master. This was sincere and rigorous practice. The koan literally means “public record.” Ko means public; an means record. Just as the reports, or case records, in courts of law are used as precedents in order to exercise and interpret the law, the koan is utilized to express the universality, or absoluteness, of Zen. The koan is not private or mystic in any sense. It is through the koan that the essence of Zen, the essence of life, is communicated. This is somewhat like love, which is experienced privately but, at the same time, has universality—anyone can experience it. Though universal, love is. communicated directly from one person to another, just as Zen is transmitted from mind to mind.

In order to communicate love, words are often insufficient. Since love is life, it is immediate and direct, and the method of communication is very dynamic. Love may even be communicated by hitting, scolding, and other contrary expressions. Sometimes to express deep concern and love we say, “I don't love you.” Love gives and love takes away. Love does not have just one, static form. So in Zen, the truth of reality, the essence of life is
communicated dynamically. There are koans, “Khats” (deep sudden cries), and blows, all aimed at awakening the student. Negative methods are often more effective than the ordinary affirmative ways of teaching. There is no room or sentimentality because Zen deals with the essence of life and the truth of the universe. The koan is never solved by reason or by the intellect. Koans are solved only through living experience or by intuitive understanding. Today, many people intellectualize and conceptualize life and so become victims of concepts and intellect. Concepts create trouble in life because conceptualizations become confused with real things. Life is living, clear and simple. (Why can’t we become more simple and direct?) The koans point out the simplicity and directness of life and truth; therefore, reasoning and intellectual judgment are totally useless to solve koans.

Of course, to understand and appreciate koans fully, one should have some background in Chinese and Japanese culture and in Buddhism—the more one has, the easier the task will be.  If one wishes to study further, there are excellent English translations of The Hekigan Roku, with commentary by Setcho and Engo, and the Mumonkan, with commentary by Mumon. If one wants to enjoy, appreciate, and live life fully, one must be aware of the truth of life. Ancient Chinese and Japanese Zen people had such an awareness, as is reflected in their approach to nature and human life. Man is, after all, only a small part of nature. Those ancient Zenists always harmonized and became one with nature. They never thought in terms of “conquering” nature. To see Chinese pictures and read Chinese poems is to discover that man always disappears into nature. Indeed, nature is frequently more compatible with man’s well-being than is human society—particularly when it is dominated by politicians and profiteers. 

To illustrate this, there is a story about a Chinese Zen monk who lived in a tree. The governor of the district, named Hakurakuten, heard of this famous Zen monk and visited him one day. Seeing the monk perched high up in the tree, the governor said, “Living on the tree is quite dangerous; you might fall at any moment. Why don’t you live on the ground?” The monk replied, “Is it safe down there on the earth?” We can see the dangers of earthly life today more clearly than ever before. Many koans are difficult to understand because they treat the absolute, the essence of life, in such a simple yet symbolic way.

The koan deals with a dimension deeper than the world of the five senses. All of our knowledge is based on sensation, perception, conception, ideas,  conscious thought, and the psychological subconscious mind. We are firmly attached to these areas of knowledge and tend to feel there is nothing outside them. But Zen deals with wisdom that transcends ordinary knowledge. And when one comes to understand the Zen realm of non-attachment, the factual world is seen in an entirely different light. All the troubles of life, without exception, are the result of attachment. Instead of clinging—or attaching—to things and conditions, one should understand the true, changing nature of the world and live freely within it. 

One can become the master of life and of one’s world instead of a slave to both. That is the intention of Zen, and the koan, in trying to demonstrate the reality of life, is Zen’s most useful tool. After all, the purpose of studying a koan is not simply to understand it and be finished with it, but to live the koan, solving it each day.

Joshu's Mu

Joshu  was a famous Chinese Zen Master who lived in Joshu, the province from which he took his name. One day a troubled monk approached him, intending to ask the Master for guidance. A dog walked by. The monk asked Joshu, Has that dog a Buddha nature or not? The monk had barely completed his question when Joshu shouted: “MU!

Of all koans, Joshu’s Mu is the most famous. It is extremely popular with Zen Masters, who frequently assign it to novices. If the student tends properly to business, Mu comes to resemble a hot iron ball stuck in his throat—he can neither swallow it nor spit it out. The importance of Joshu’s Mu is its succinct (one syllable) revelation of Buddhism. Mu is the negative symbol n Chinese meaning “not” or “no-thing.” 

Mu is also a basic concept in Oriental philosophy. There is a relative Mu and an Absolute Mu. The relative Mu, in Chinese characters, is the opposite of U which means “is.” The Absolute Mu of Zen Buddhism transcends “is” and “is not.” In order to “understand” this koan, it is necessary to be aware of this distinction. When the monk asked Joshu, “Has that dog a Buddha-nature or not?” he was asking not only from the standpoint of his own troubled mind, but from the basic Buddhist teaching that “all beings have Buddha nature.” Joshu realized this.

His “MU!” was a blow aimed at breaking, or untying, the monk’s attachment to that teaching. The essence of Buddha’s teaching is non-attachment. All human troubles and sufferings, without exception, are due to attachment. Even attachment to the idea of nonattachment is attachment! Joshu wanted the monk to transcend the relative world, transcend the teachings, transcend U and Mu, transcend Buddhism, and gain the free and independent world of enlightenment.

Satori, or enlightenment, is this new dimension or perspective in life. Ordinary human life is always attached to the relative: the “is” and the “is not, good and bad, right and wrong. But life itself is constantly changing; the condition of society changes; right and wrong changes; every situation is different according to time and place. Static concepts are not appropriate to life. Thus, Mu is crucial: it offers no surface upon which the intellect can fasten. The word Mu must be experienced as the world of “MU”

The Staff

Shuzan held out his short staff and said, “If you call this a short staff, you oppose its reality. If you do not call it a short staff, you ignore the fact. Now what do you wish to call this?” 

COMMENT: If the student calls it a short staff, he attaches to its name; if he doesn’t call it a short staff, he ignores its reality. He can neither assert nor deny. Only when he falls to the very bottom of contradiction and utter confusion will he enlighten himself. “What is this?” Shuzan demands. It just is. Don't talk about it; experience it.

MY COMMENT: I think this koan pertains to my practice in that I need to do it, sit and practice rather than talk about it or just think about it.

Heat and Cold

 

A monk asked Tozan, “How can we escape the cold and heat?” Tozan replied, “Why not go where there is no cold and heat?” “Is there such a place?” the monk asked. Tozan commented, “When cold, be thoroughly cold; when hot, be hot through and through.”

Comment: Heat and cold cause discomfort; they represent troubles in life. When troubles arise, what should we do? If one can escape fine. But many of life’s problems cannot be escaped. Where is the place of no trouble? Zen says: Become one with trouble. When the day is hot, don't cry, “Oh, it's too hot! What shall I do?” Take the heat and be it instead of complaining about or trying to escape it. Whatever it is, if we become totally one with it, we become the master instead of the victim.

My Comment: This koan is about being present.

Every Day is a Good Day

Unmon said: “I do not ask vou about fifteen days a go. But What about fifteen days hence? Come, say a word about this!” Since none of the monks answered, he answered for them: “Every day is a good day.”

Comment: “Every day is a good day” is a simple statement, but it probably doesn't mean what you think it does. The “good day” does not refer to a nice day as compared to a bad day. It means the absolute, not the relative, day. Today is the absolute day, the only day in the eternity of time. Today is never repeated. Every day is fresh and new just as one’s life is new each day. Every day is a good day, but the good is not of one’s own making. It is good in the original, or absolute, sense—rain or shine, war or peace, sickness or health. The past is only reference; the future is only hope. Today is real.

Manjushri and the Gate

 

One day as Manjushri stood outside the gate, the Buddha called to him, Manjushri, Manjushri, why do you not enter? Manjushri replied, I do not see myself as outside. Why enter?

My Comment: All borders and barriers only exist in the mind and are created by man.

The Temple Flag

Two monks were arguing about the temple flag waving in the wind. One said the flags moves and the other said the wind moves. They argued back and forth but could not agree. Hui-neng, the sixth patriarch said, Gentlemen, it is not the flag that moves and it is not the wind that moves. It is your mind that moves. The two monks were awestruck.

Futility and Absurdity

In early times in Japan, bamboo-and-paper lanterns were used with candles inside. A blind man, visiting a friend one night, was offered a lantern to carry home with him. “I do not need a lantern,” he said. “Darkness or light is all the same to me.” “I know you do not need a lantern to find your way,” his friend replied, “but if you don’t have one, someone else may run into you. So you must take it.” The blind man started off with the lantern and before he had walked very far someone ran squarely into him. “Look out where you are going!” he exclaimed to the stranger. “Can’t you see this lantern?” “Your candle has burned out, brother,” replied the stranger.

My Comment: Sometimes life is futile. Sometimes we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t. Sometimes good luck is disguised by bad luck and vice versa. Sometimes a kick in the ass propels us forward, and sometimes it’s just a kick in the ass.

The absurdity of the human condition is both very painful and very laughable. It’s an ironic and incongruous and poignantly imperfect. But that’s also half the fun of it. Life comes at us fast, and sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to laugh despite the speed of it all.

Between the pain of life’s lessons and the medicinal laughter of cultivating a good sense of humor, there is the unvanquishable absurdity of life kicking us around. Sometimes all we can do is kick back with a ruthless sense of humor, not despite irony and incongruity, but because of them.

Dive in! The water is warm (and cold and safe and dangerous)  But don’t let that stop you from living; from dancing through the glaring futility and venomous absurdity of it all with a humor of the most high.

If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him - A Koan

The Zen Master warns: “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him!” This admonition points up that no meaning that comes from outside of ourselves is real. The Buddhahood of each of us has already been obtained. We need only recognize it. Philosophy, religion, patriotism, all are empty idols. The only meaning in our lives is what we each bring to them. Killing the Buddha on the road means destroying the hope that anything outside of ourselves can be our master. 

Shamatha Meditation

Shamatha is an important part of many meditative traditions, including Buddhist meditation schools. Although many people practice some form of shamatha, most aren’t familiar with the foundation of this important practice and how it differs from mindfulness, insight, and concentration.

What is Shamatha?

Shamatha is a form of meditation practice that builds tranquility and calmness of mind. The word itself means the slowing down or pacification of the mind, and Shamatha may be understood to mean the calming and slowing of the mind and its mental objects. It is a foundational practice in Buddhist teachings around meditation, and one that leads to mindfulness, insight, and wisdom.

If you’ve meditated before, you have experienced different levels of samadhi, or concentration. When we develop this one-pointedness of mind, we develop shamatha. As we practice shamatha meditation, the mind grows calm and patient, able to see experience more clearly. It is a prerequisite for developing insight and wisdom, and shamatha practice can help us develop everything from mindfulness and insight to compassion and equanimity.

Why Practice Shamatha?

Shamatha is an important meditation practice, especially for those beginning a new meditation practice. The purpose of this meditation practice is to develop a mind that rests in calm abiding. When we develop the ability to rest with a mind of ease, we can tune into experience with increased clarity.

Think about your own experience. When your mind is active and reactive, are you seeing clearly? In moments of anxiety, we may find the mind thinking rapidly. We don’t see clearly, and are activated. This is the opposite of what we do in shamatha practice.

With shamatha, we develop the ability to calm the mind and rest in a state of increased ease. This gives us the ability to practice mindfulness and see the experience without reacting so strongly. When thoughts and other experiences arise, we can observe them with a patient awareness and develop some insight. Shamatha is a necessary practice to develop a calm mind that can cultivate insight and wisdom.

With shamatha practice, we can develop deeper wisdom and insight. It also can be beneficial to us in daily life. We are able to ground ourselves during our days, rest in a state of ease, and decrease our levels of anxiety and stress. Shamatha practice over time can lead us to a state of increased calmness.

Shamatha Meditations

There are different ways we can practice shamatha. The most common way is through the development of samadhi, or concentration. Concentrative meditation is most often done with the practice of observing the breath, but may also be done with the practice of metta meditation.

Through the development of samadhi, we are able to focus the mind on one object. This may be any number of mind-objects, but we most often use the breath in Buddhist practices. Cultivating samadhi means we are able to rest with one object in our experience with ease and one-pointedness of mind. As samadhi develops, the mind grows in ease. As such, shamatha practices include mindfulness of the breath (anapanasati).

Shamatha and Vipassana

Shamatha is a practice that can help us with our vipassana, or insight practices. When we practice shamatha and calm the mind, we are able to see experience more clearly. Vipassana practice without a calm mind can be difficult and possibly not even useful. By developing a calm mind, we allow ourselves the opportunity to develop insight and wisdom.

As you build the ability to concentrate on one object and quiet the mind, you can then take that quality of mind and bring it to an open awareness practice. If you are struggling in your mindfulness and insight practices to see clearly, I recommend starting with shamatha practice and cultivating a mind that is more at ease and able to focus on your experience!

Self Reflection

This is a post from Rebecca's blog Minimalism Made Simple (https://www.minimalismmadesimple.com) Its not Buddhist but its good.

You go through life day by day, just trying to get by an)d achieve your goals. Sometimes it feels like you are never going anywhere. Have you ever considered trying self-reflection? Self-reflection is the act of looking back on your life's work, whether that be good or bad. It's a good way to see just how much you have accomplished or what you need to work on.

The Importance of Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is an important part of growing as a person.It is always important to both be in the present moment, as well as look to the future. However, if we take a brief moment, whether that be at the end of the day, month or year to reflect on our actions, we can take note and be better for the future. Many people just go blindly throughout life, not thinking about what they are doing.This is a recipe for bad habits and failure. These people may put out negativity and not realize it.

They wonder why all these bad things happen to them, and it may be in fact, because of their actions.

On the flip side, you may be doing something right and reap the rewards, but never realize what it was that you did, so you never repeat it ever again.

Practicing self reflection will allow you to get a good idea of your progress and actions in life and to essentially fine-tune how you do things.

The Benefits of Self Reflection

Aside from getting a good idea of what you achieved and how you act as a person, there are several self reflection benefits.

Better Relationships

Any time you are faced with a new relationship or even a conflict, self-reflection can help. You can spend some time looking inwards to asses your situation and make an educated decision based on how you feel about the relationship, and not necessarily in the heat of the moment. This can apply to a love interest, toxic relationships with friends or family members, or building a relationship with an acquaintance or family member.

Greater Sense of Self

Practicing self-reflection or introspection allows you to sit alone with yourself, which many people rarely get the chance to do. It can get quite uncomfortable at times, but this is required for growth. In this reflecting time, you get to silence the outside noise and listen to what YOU want. What your energy levels are, your health status, your passions, everything. Truly knowing one's self gives you a lot of power and a sense of calmness when tackling everyday life.

Stronger Decision Making Skills

Adding on to knowing one's self better through self-reflection, you will find that your ability to make decisions will simplify, as well. When you have a strong sense of self, and truly know your values, you shouldn't hesitate when going to make a decision. The answer should be clear to you. This relieves a lot of questioning and stress for yourself.

15 Ways to Practice Self-Reflection

1. Identify the Important Questions

Think of some questions that you want to ask yourself routinely (daily, weekly, monthly) to use as an assessment for your self-reflection.

Some examples are:

What habits did I achieve this week?

What could I better improve on?

How did I feel overall today?

(Remember that if you have feelings of depression or anxiety, it’s always best to speak with someone. Online Therapy offers helpful tools and resources.)

2. Meditate

You don't have to be perfect with this, it will be uncomfortable at first.But just sit in silence for as long as you can and see how your mind wanders. What are you thinking about? Take note of that and try to focus on your breathing.

3. Journal

Writing in a journal like a diary is a great way to get your thoughts and feelings out.

It is also a great tool to look back on to see any patterns in your habits and thoughts.

4. Do A Writing Exercise

Does your mind feel jumbled with thoughts and decisions?

Simply set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write everything that comes to mind.

Notice any patterns? What thoughts are important and which are fleeting?

Writing exercises are great to get your thoughts out on paper (or computer) to organize them better.

5. Take a Walk In Nature

Being out in nature is shown to improve mood. Get some fresh air and clear your head.

6. Talk to Yourself Out Loud

Sometimes hearing yourself talk out loud can be a great way to have realizations.

Having a conversation with yourself allows you to get your thoughts out and self-reflect.

7. Perform Breathing Exercises

From simple to complex, breathing exercises allow you to steady your heart rate and calm down.

This brings your mind to a calmer place to think more clearly.

8. Read

You don't have to read self-improvement books alone.

Some of my best self-actualizations have come from reading fiction novels. You get a realization of what you enjoy and what you don't.

Reading is truly a form of meditation.

9. Analyze a Past Event

Pick an event that you have certain feelings about. Take a few moments to analyze that particular event.

Why do you feel the way you do about that event?

What did you do well in this particular event? What could you improve upon in the future?

10. Assess What You Are Grateful For

Taking the time at the end of the day to think about what you are grateful for can improve your mood and way of thinking.

Try to think of just three things that you are grateful for at the end of each day.

11. Try a Yoga Class

Being in a calm and relaxing environment like you are when you are in yoga has many benefits.

Some benefits include improved flexibility and better breathing.

In this time, you may find yourself meditating and sifting through your thoughts. The perfect time for some self-reflection.

12. Track Your Feelings

Grab a journal or an app and track your feelings each day.

Do you notice any trends in your moods?

Often seeing why you react to certain stigma brings a sense of peace a realization for why you do what you do.

13. Perform a Self-Check Up

You don't have to visit the doctor's office for this one!

Simply sit down with yourself and assess different areas of your life.

Career, Love-Life, Education, Hobbies, Family, Fitness, etc.

How happy are you with your efforts in each area? What can you start improving on?

(I personally love this Healthy Meal Planner bundle to improve my simple eating goals.)

14. Set Specific Goals

After performing the self-reflection actions above, setting specific goals to achieve can greatly improve your progress.

Where do you want to be mentally and physically in the next 6 months? 3 years? 5 years?

Visualizing these goals helps to make them a reality.

15. Try Counseling

Seeing a counselor or therapist can be a great way to talk about yourself in a professional, non-judgmental setting.

Your counselor will help you dig deeper into who you are and bring on some strong self-reflection.

Examples of Self-Reflection

To put the tips above to good use, I am going to share a few self-reflection examples that you can practice in your everyday life:

• Taking a 30-minute walk in nature once a week.

• Listen to your thoughts and feelings.

• Wake up 30 minutes earlier. Sit down with a cup of coffee and read a book that you are excited about.

• Try sitting in a dark room in silence with your thoughts for just 5 minutes every day. Try to add on time as you go.

• You are feeling a little stressed today. Your mind is jumbled. Set a timer for 5 minutes and write out all of your thoughts.

  Visualizing your to-do list and what you were thinking about made you realize you don't need to stress so much.

• Take the time to assess a particular past event that you keep having dreams about.

  You can find out why that event was stressing you out.

• Think about a particular habit. You are now more aware of this habit in your everyday life and will be improving yourself immediately.

As you can see, self-reflection can be a great way to improve your overall life. By taking some time out of your day to reflect on past events, you will have a better sense of self. This sense of self will allow for things like better relationships and improved decision-making in your everyday life.

Stress will be cut-down and the cluttered thoughts, no more. Pick one or two ways to practice self-reflection and start implementing them into your everyday routine.